1. |
arranged
02:47
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little bumps that grow on skin and don't let other people in
I'll wash them off with astringent I'll eat the words I never meant
I will love you I will take, I will make a big mistake
compartmentalized it in my brain since no one ever feels the same
my heart tells me I do too much I push myself til it gets stuck
in cycles of not holding back to dwelling on the things I lack
scared of letting you too close, will you see this and be repulsed?
silences carefully maintained outside of a setting we arranged
clouded minds can't interfere with what we have accomplished here
I'll leave before its time to go, be sick again and you won't notice
time beckons to another place, dots are filling up your face
how is it that you can pretend but will not ever be my friend?
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2. |
feed
03:43
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3. |
bad seed
03:39
|
|||
getting sick and going out
feeling you exploding in my mouth
why do you throw me into the swollen stream
thanks but I can shatter my own dreams
do you wanna see do I wanna show
will I recede? will I ever grow?
if only I could bathe you in my light
if only you could take away my eyes
your one aspiration
ignite my desperation
unpacifiable demands
greeted by these closing hands
fuck this and fuck me in my innocence
forgetting we're organic and not as resilient
the deadline for growing up: have I missed it yet?
this grip will be slipping from a darker sweat
hey there bad seed
gonna play with you till my hands bleed
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4. |
dust
02:15
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I will learn what dust tastes like
I am not immune
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5. |
clouded
03:06
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will I listen know the mission flashing lights and blurry vision make decisions commit new sins molding a small world to live in
be half there keep me half awake from being half bored making half mistakes me half gone falling half asleep from being half ignored trash the half I'm too keep
pissing clouded from getting pounded drown the feelings that surround it
thinking
drinking
growing
shrinking
hail the coward in the shower can't wash it off in half an hour new electronics same sardonic defend by that incessant tick
be half here keep me half awake from being half bored making half mistakes be half gone falling half asleep from being half ignored trash the half I'm to keep
I am waxing you are waning can't get down with your complaining chronic inaction losing traction what's today's latest distraction?
how can you be my refuge when we're both full of refuse?
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6. |
stain
04:09
|
|||
placeholder come remind me
of the one from which I'm hiding
looking in it's hard to tell
but as we crave heaven we're singed by hell
she'll be the body
I'll be the brain
we wake in the morning
to feel the same pain
believe me I could play with you
but what would happen if I do
earth orbits around the sun
the star implodes, it's all done
I'll be the blood
if you'll be the stain
we wake in the morning
to feel the same pain
I swore I would not taint you
but I lack that restraint too
I swore I would not taint you
but I lack that restraint too
you be the needle, I'll be the vein
we wake in the morning to feel the same
we take communion, I take the blame
we wake in the morning to feel the same pain
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7. |
machine
02:02
|
|||
organize the things you find what to keep what to leave behind
snuggle up to who you're close to do the things that you're supposed to
I could collect I could connect but what reciprocates is disconnect
laughing hard and losing it's only as good as who you're with
and it's all just another cliche that doesn't resonate with me
try to induce more delay but we could crash it would be okay
do what it takes to stay aligned or circle the drain inside of my mind
the strongest cloth rips at the seam
aware that flesh
is not a
machine
and illusion of an elevator
how we create our creator
grant my my mortality
make me blind so I won't see
that there's no scheme there is no plan
we grow where our seeds happen to land
burn the bottom of my soul
it's how you prove that You're
in control
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8. |
vessel
02:32
|
|||
could I find beauty in a vessel broken
learn to swim inside your ocean?
listen for a word not spoken
not second guessing my devotion?
could I let you cut that deep
allow myself to feel such need?
stranger watch me as I sleep
consume concessions I concede
touch me but I may not feel
you can pour and pour but I will not fill
can't build a bridge between real and ideal
can't browse the lilies against my will
perhaps the bolts themselves will tighten
sit on my ass waiting for you to ripen
suns rays make colors fade and lighten
but in the dark the silver brightens
but could I let you cut that deep
allow myself to feel such need?
stranger watch me as I sleep
consume concessions I concede
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9. |
sugar
02:08
|
|||
knowing when to cough and knowing when to stop
swallow new things turn around to flick you off
outside it looks like I've gained more control
but secretly I am wishing for you to come home
sugar you've been wasted again I can taste on your breath
all the things you had planned which will not come to pass
wanna find you again coz I have no remorse
wanna feel you again but there is no recourse
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||||
10. |
trap
03:16
|
|||
come out of the cracks to collect your subjective truths in a bottle you'll save it for later
tonight when you thirst
get out of your bed to collect your artistic thoughts in a painting it will be complicated
nobody will see
there's a trap in the pillow a trap in the glass in every test that I've passed every check that I've cashed
just take them from me
maybe someday he'll want me but I'm a trap too fascinating creatures claw at each other caged in their zoo
just take the bait and run
circling for parking but the streets won't relent, bumper to bumper on a freeway of our decent
it's too far to walk
so just drop me off
when the lights are all out and I'm over the brink the void will be all closed they'll be no missing links
will they say
"baby come back!"?
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||||
11. |
mask
03:23
|
|||
do you like my mask
I made it myself
gotta complete this task
gotta become somebody else
let's gauge out your eyes
and see if you can still recognize it
a quiver in my voice
a major chord in all of that noise
do you like my mask or do you like me?
tell me baby how did I do?
in exuding that golden hue?
write me the script I'll swallow my lines
just add water, dissolve this design
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||||
12. |
won't clot
04:03
|
|||
watch your pink sun play dress up with the clouds
lay in the center so they won't hear that thought out loud
it stung but I couldn't tell if it cut
it felt numb but now I know that it won't clot
my words bite my heal
stopped dead in tracks of red the kind that won't congee
my feet are slipping inside soaking socks
I thought I could run, now I know that it won't clot
June turn to soot, this decent is steep
their love is costly, there love is cheap
can't reach the breaks in the time that I ought
a lash from the grass makes a gash and it won't clot
baby don't worry about pleasing me
there's a place for good girls that I would rather be
crimson and crumpled a face you forgot
spills onto the floor and you know that it won't clot
example A your proved hypothosis
calculations of reactions that all explain this
in my compliance with that science I can't restrain the thought
a quiet violence, the loudest silence that will not clot
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